Thursday, August 31, 2006

Yay convocation's tml..I can't wait to see everyone again..Though sadly we've all started to move on with our lives..I hardly see my SIM mates anymore..Sob sob..

Anyhoo..I wanted to photoblog abt my birthday bash..But unfortunately all the pics havent been uploaded or sent to me yet..But soon..I promise..

At this point in time..I have to dedicate the rest of the post to Shankar..Though he may be a pandi at times.. He gives reallyyyy good advice. What he told me this week changed my perspective on life totally. And for that I am ever grateful..And yes yes..We'll bring you to Apollo's Banana Leaf next week..But we'll conveniently forget our wallets..Hehe..

Seriously, after Shankar talked to me that day, everything became so much more clearer . It was hard to accept at first and I had to admit that I was in denial for quite some time..But he gave me the much awaited wake up call..And it worked. I've started living for myself. And I can only hope that I'll continue living for myself.

On a lighter note,I still can't believe I'm wearing a sari for convocation..I have a sinking feeling I'm gonna trip..As long as I don't trip on stage..Wah..*Touchwood* But knowing myself..Sighh.

Wokay..Gonna get some beauty sleep..Need to look good in the trillions of photos I will be taking.


Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I know I haven posted in a week..I was recovering from my bash on Friday and getting ready for my graduation this coming Friday..I'm so excited..Though I do look like a Harry Potter wannabe in my graduation gown..*Bleh*

I'll post again with pics..Let me go enjoy my Baileys now..Yum..One must treat one's self on occassion..Hehe..Actually every day is reason to have Baileys..Mmmmm.


Friday, August 25, 2006

First, let me thank all you lovelies for the birthday wishes.. I felt very loved!

I had a rockin 24th birthday..Not because I went out clubbing or had tons of presents..Just the fact that I was surrounded by loved ones from the minute I woke up to the second I fell asleep.

You must be wondering what happened to all the self-taken obsessed pics that usually accompany my posts..

Well my friend Vijay decided he had enough of seeing me in the same pose all the time and decided to give me a photoshoot as a

birthday present..

At this point in time.. I would just like to mention that
Vijay is god of all things photographic..I am willing to name my firstborn after him..Hehe..

I would also like to state how much I love my family..Yesh I really do..Especially my 2 lovely siblings who bought me a very Paris Hilton like white handbag which matches my clubbing dress to a T..

And my darling friends..You have no clue how much you all mean to me. Ms Joanne James.. My one constant in this crazy world of bastards and bitches.. Ms Sarasiii..My one and only non-vulgarities speaking babe who always brings a smile to my face.. Nesh..My newly found Jurong kaki who has been my listening board and so much more. Vijay..My long lost best friend..Some things never change..Even after 5 yrs. You guys made my birthday one of the most memorable ones so far..

I can't wait to hit the dance floor tonight..Anyone else interested? Gotham tonight..Be there!!!

Till the next birthday post..


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Its abt 15 mins to my 24th birthday..

Usually I get super excited abt my birthdays..Demanding week long extravaganza celebrations..

But this year..I dunno.. Everyone's like "So when's the party?" I'm like..Blehhhh..

I'm just looking forward to dancing the night away with my lovelies on Friday..Its the 1st time in years I'm spending it as a singleton..And I know I'm gonna have a good ol time..Its just that I feel so..BLEH.. I have no clue why..Maybe I have no direction in life now..

I'm so out of it that I havent even been demanding birthday pressies from anyone! Haha..Which is a first for me. Maybe coz this yr,during this weekend, something else was supposed to happen..Which thankfully didnt..I think I would have led a life of tears if I went through with it all..

Oh well..

Happy Birthday To Me!!!


Sunday, August 20, 2006

Phew..Finally a TV performance in which I didn't look like total crap.. I was soooooo dreading seeing my blubber on TV again..Thank god it wasnt too bad.. Guess those hours on the bloody hated treadmill did work out after all..Though I like the pics we took before the shoot better..

Now I feel all fat-ified and I have to wear a sari in about 3 hrs time for a wedding..Blehhh.. I can't believe how many of my poly friends have gotten or are getting married.Some even have kids laa..*Ponders*

Sometimes I am just TOO nice to ppl..I give and give and give..Till I am emotionally drained. I have a ppl pleasing syndrome and its driving me nuts..I have done stuff for ppl and then wonder why the hell I agreed. With all this time on my hands I guess I've been doing alot of soul searching and its hard to admit one's own faults. I can't stand it when ppl are mad at me and therefore I go all the way out to make sure I do things that please them. Urgh..See it just sounds wrong. And who gets hurt in the end? Duhhh.. I eventually get taken for granted and some ppl even forget I'm in the picture until they need something I can provide.. Sucks huh..Yeap it does..I just have to learn the hard way I guess..Though I don't think this heart can take anymore hurt.

On to a totally unrelated but equally disturbing piece of news.. I was reading the New Paper when I came across this article on redheads..Apparently redheads or ppl who dye their hair red are actually channeling "Come get me" signals..And that redheads have more sex than blondes or brunettes..Alamakkk.. This is just what I need now laa..More reason for men to proposition me based on my hair colour. *Sigh*

Yay..1 1/2 hrs to Ms Vasantham..Can't wait to see the original "talents" these girls possess..Oh wait..let me see..Hmmm..Could they include dancing??? *Gasp* Singing?? *Double Gasp* Hehehe..Mean arent we..I'm pretty tame compared to the guys at Now that's a blog worth going back to over and over again.. Oh if you think its wrong to sit and bitch about these girls then you should not watch TV ever again..How many times have ya commented on an actress or actor on a Saturday night? "OMG she's soooooooooo fat..What's she thinking wearing that?" or "OMG he looks so gay..My iguana looks better than him" So yeah..Save me the moralistic crap.If you're brave enough to be on TV you should be brave enough to take the comments that come with it. Believe me I've had my fair share of rude comments..So just deal with it.


Thursday, August 17, 2006

I am a seriously confused child..And I hate it..And I hate it when ppl confuse me even more..

The stupid games we play..The useless mind fucks..The hidden truths..The mystery behind the smiles..

I just feel like taking a pan and knocking some sense into ppl and asking them to open their eyes and take a look at wat's RIGHT in front of them..*Blows hair off her forehead* My powers as a woman must be weakening.. Noooooooooooooooo..*wails tamil padam style*

Have I mentioned Whitney Houston is my soul sister..So areToni Braxton and Mary J Blige..

Now tell me how you feel if I told
You that I have feelings for you
And would it be so wrong to say
What's on my mind
We were friends but with time
What I feel deep inside for you has changed
But I'd give up on love, if I thought
That it was untrue for you

I know that we were just friends
But what if I decide to bring something in
I hope it won't offend the trust
We have 'cause I don't want this to end
If you think that we'll lose what we have
Then I'd just rather stay the same
Cause I don't wanna choose
Between two of the most precious things to me

PS: I know this post seemed like aimless verbal vomit..But it felt good to get it all out.. So just deal with it till the next more sensible post.. *Gives best Ms Congeniality smile*


Saturday, August 12, 2006

Can I just state that spontaneous-last minute clubbing absoultely ROCKS!!!

The Friday night girls are back in action..Though the circumstances that brought us to make the decision to club were not entirely happy ones..But we still had loads of fun! Though I doubt my friend R reads my blog..I still wanna say that it was awfully sweet of him to come all the way to Gotham and buy me my Long Island Tea..*happy smile*

Arrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh...OMGGGGGGGGGGG... *faints* I just saw my bleh self on tv..Shit..I though my dance would have been shown by now..Dammit..Now my sister can watch next week and make fun of me..*Wails* I look like crap laaaaaaaaaaaa..Orange and denim..Kadavulehhhh..

Okie back to the post..I am hungry..Mainly coz I havent eaten a proper meal in 3 days.. Why?? Coz I'm depressed and when I'm depressed I become slightly crazed..Past bad behaviour includes starvation,over exercising and the worst..Bulimia.. Yeap. I was bulimic..And the worst part about admitting that sometimes is the reaction some MFs give me..Like 'you were bulimic? Really? Then how come you didnt lose weight?" And these mofos are usually men.. It wasnt a particularly pleasant period of my life..I remember I was interning at Chan Bros..And I would eat lunch and then proceed to force myself to throw it all up. Hell yeah I lost weight..But once I sought help and stopped throwing up, the weight came back plus some..I've tried very hard to stop the cycle..But at times when I feel bloody low, I feel the only solution is to make myself puke..I know it sounds dumb, but I always felt a sense of calm when I came back from the toilet..As if my problems were also flushed away together with my food..

I have no clue why I'm blogging about this..I've only told a select few ppl abt this.. But it just feels right. Maybe coz I'm reaching out for help? Or I just want to know someone cares? Maybe I want ppl to understand how come I have so much weight loss issues? Maybe I want ppl to stop judging me based on how I look? Or assuming just because I'm not the perfect size I don't have feelings..

Ahh fuck..Its impossible to get through ppl sometimes.

I know I've been very emotional and ranty today..Sue me..I'm PMSing..


Thursday, August 10, 2006

I hate greasy hair.. But I have no choice..I just straightened my hair and I can't wash my hair for 3 freakin days..Sigh.

Okay..I'm letting ya in on a BIG secret..Just don't tell my mum..*Looks around guiltily*

I bought my birthday dress..For 78 bucks..With my mum's ATM card..

But its a GORGEOUS dress which is sooooooooo flattering and I love the retro polka dots..So just don't tell my mum k? *Winks*

So me and Joanne stupidly decided to go chill at the Esplanade yesterday..On National Day.. Being the doinks that we were, we didn't realise that the rest of Singapore who couldnt get tickets to NDP would be camped out at the waterfront, where we go to chill with Haagen Daaz and talk till the cows come home.. Wah liaooooo.. Its like hello??? Don't you have a TV at home? Must you come with all generations of your family and watch the parade on a wide screen in public?? Sheesh..Plus there were some who were just sitting and staring into the sky waiting for fireworks...At 6.30..Seriously..Ppl were just staring intently at the sky as if willing the fireworks to explode at that moment.. Too bad they were facing the wrong direction!!! Neh ne ni boo boo..

Don't ya hate novels in which the story line revolves around a seriously fat chick losing ALL that weight and suddenly becomes thin and pretty and all the bastards in her life suddenly wanna bonk her?? Books like that wanna make me slit my wrists.. Seriously.. What kind of stupid message are you sending out to young impressionable girls? That you have to be of a certain size in order for men to accept you? Weight loss should start when you make a decision to be healthier..It should be for YOU..Not for anyone else..*Mumbles*


Thursday, August 03, 2006

So I went for a walk/jog at 5 am yesterday around Jurong West..Yesh.. 5 am..Yesh..Walk/jog.. I was just asking for it la.. Went with an over zealous-health kick friend.. If you take a look below..I marked my route..And approximately where I died and from where only my soul was running..Wahhhhhhhh...I wanted to cry laa.. But it wasnt too bad coz I had good company..But the best part was the prata after the run..Yesh..Prata..Sue me..Breakfast is the most impt meal of the day..Plus I deserved it..

I am sick of everyone asking me to go and teach when they find out I havent gotten a job yet.. Crazy ah..I'm the world's worst teacher laa..I can't..I'm too impatient..Even with kids..The poor kid would probably start doing even more horribly if I start teaching. They would be traumatised..

Standards suck..Seriously..Indian men need to come back to reality..In the real world, we all cant be looking like Beyonce or Eva Mendes. We are normal, healthy, intelligent and funny women. Why can't men accept us they way we are and not set impossible standards when lookin for a girlfriend. Seriously..I have friends telling how come Indian women don't look like J.Lo or Jessica Simpson..Hello friend..You want over-boobified,blonde,over made up women, then go US and find laa..Why are you still here?? Looks are only skin deep boys. Yesh we women drool over actors too..But we don't set standards when lookin for a partner..If tats the case..most men I know would probably be single for life la..

Okie..Rant over..