Thursday, April 27, 2006

I let someone in..I opened my heart..Just a teeny weeny bit..But it was more than enough for him to totally crush what was left. I thought he was different..I tot he could make me happy. But I guess I thought wrong. He brought me up so high..And left me hanging just like that.

Have some balls man.. Don't play these mind games with me. You led me to believe you gave a shit. You listened to me and my mindless rambling till 5am..You made me happy with your calls of care and concern. And then you proved just to be like any other MF with your cowardice behaviour. I still have hope that you are not a full blown MF..If you could just tell me WASSUP with you!!!!

*Blows hair off forehead*

Men.. If not for procreation..I would seriously consider lesbianism. Stop being all over sensitive..And stop being over mamafied.. Stop trying to hide your emotions..Stop being a coward and face up to the truth even if it would hurt us for a while..Respect us dammit!!


Monday, April 24, 2006

Bleh..Yes..If you had nothing better to do on a Sunday afternoon and managed to catch the once again repeat of a freakin old episode of Theem Thaka Theem..You would have caught glimpses of me lookin like a FOOL in a blue sari and in a freaking abnormally long wig doing my best Shaila Nair impersonation for Venmathi.. Yes I know..Not my finest moment.. *mumbles* Why do they torture me with that clip..Sigh..*Hides under a pillow*

The weekend was pretty eventful.. Went down to that Gopio exhibition on Sat.Spent lots of money on Indian handlooms, curtains and bedspreads..Plus this gorgeous white sari with silver beading.. *Drools* Then had to rush down for a makeup appt at Woodlands.. *waves at Renuga* Then rushed back home and left for Joanne's place. But not before meeting a certain someone who has proven to be an absolute gentleman and a totally refreshing change from all the physical MFs..Who also drives a very hot, red car..Hehee..

We planned a girl's day out at East Coast on Sunday..It was so fun catching up with my babes..I have had absolutely no time in the past weeks what with work and school.. Monica makes the best chicken wings!! And all the fun we had trying to 'chope' the pondol and making it exclusively ours for the afternoon with little luck.. *Mumbles at the aunties and uncles whom invaded our pondol*

For the first time in a VERY long time.. I am actually allowing myself to be happy and to be caught up in the moment. But still, I can't let my guard down totally coz the pain is still too real.

Okie why the hell am I blogging about my weekend when I have a paper in 24 hrs????


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

"The average woman sees only the weak points in a strong man and the good points in a weak one"

Doing my bit for a friend.. Shabir will be releasing his debut album this Saturday at Serangoon Plaza from 4pm onwards..Do go down to lend your support. The tracks on the album are really good especially Alaipayuthae and N.E.W.. Plus the videos are really cool too!! I was there for both video shoots and there was ALOT of hard work which went into making the videos. Plus a VERY good friend will also be appearing in N.E.W..Hehehe *winks at Joanne*

Wokay.. Exams next week and I'm soooooooooo bochap.. Maybe coz 2 of the 3 papers are open book? Maybe coz its my last semester? Maybe I have no aim in life? Maybe coz I'm a very confused child?

Have I mentioned I'm giving clubbing a rest? Yeah.. *Insert shocked gasps* I don't think the lifestyle is conducive to me finding peace with myself. But I'll still go when the itch to dance like a wild child hits..Just not as often.Can you believe I've been going almost every week? Sigh..

Speaking of clubbing, at my last outingI met Malini, a fellow blogger!! *Waves at Malini* The courage vodka can give one at 5am in the morning..Hehe to say hi to someone you know only thru cyberspace. Can I say that you look bloody hot in that skirt without sounding all lesbian?? Hehehe..

I miss Melbourne.. Was going through some of the pics Daf sent me.. I miss being in another country with no worries. I miss staying with my 3 girls..I miss taking pics at every cafe, pub,restaurant, shopping centre we were at..I miss all the lovely shopping..I miss being a size 'S' for once..Hehe..I miss the boys cooking us yummy gourmet dishes..I miss trekking over the hall to the boys' room to hang out and chat till 4am..I miss Queen Victoria market..I miss the hot men..Bleh..

Okie..Onwards with the studying..


Sunday, April 16, 2006

Just a lil something interesting from 'The Boyfriend Test'

"My first inclination after charging through many men and many heartbreaks was to become a complete pessimist. I was convinced that the perfect man didn't exist and that in order for me to have any semblance of a normal relationship, I would have to lower my expectations-which can be pretty miserable.

Let's face it, we're all human. We all have lessons to learn. And Dream Boyfriends are really just human beings who are looking at their problems with an adult eye and attempting to change. The journey of life is about growth. You shouldn't go looking for a perfectly UNrealistic man. Nor should you beat yourself up if your own behaviour isn't perfect.

Firing a loser makes room for a qualified man to enter your life. Psychologists call it setting personal boundaries. New Age enthusiasts call it changing your energy signals. I'm more pragmatic. Dump The Jerks. Date a better man. Period. Just do it."

Hehehe.. I'm starting to LOVE this book.. "The Boyfriend Test: How To Evaluate His Potential BEFORE You Lose Your Heart".. I can really relate to the stuff the author's talkin about..*Mumbles about the losers in her life* Hopefully by the time I'm done with the book, I'll be able to set my own personal boundaries and kick all the losers outta my life..

Bleh.. My sister just went to the salon..I have a sneakin suspicion that she's gonna come back with MY hairstyle.. *Stares*..Avalukku Irukku Laaaa..Hehhehe..

Wokay..Gtg hit the books.. Exams in 2 weeks!!!


Saturday, April 08, 2006

Why do I keep torturing myself with sad songs??

So he moved on.. What about me? Hmmm.. Let's just say no one warned me the dating game was goin to be this tough and cruel.. To meet an eligible, semi-hot, intelligent man seems to be an impossible task!! Or maybe I'm lookin in all the wrong places.

But then again..I'm not really looking.. I don't really think I can be in a relationship just as yet. But at the same time.. Loneliness sucks.. Yes I have my lovely family and wonderful friends.But certain times you just need that special someone to call your own.. But let's just see what He has in store for me.

I can't believe I was at home on a Friday night.. I can't believe I'm at home now on a Saturday night.. This is unacceptable.. However, there is something called money, which is an important factor when ya wanna club. Of which I'm lacking at the moment coz my stupid cheque hasnt cleared yet.. *mumbles*

Let me go rot on my couch now..


Thursday, April 06, 2006

Bleh.. Renovation is the pits..

I've been thinking alot about the state of my life nowadays.. Yes I've been partying alot.. Yes I've probably been neglecting my school work.. Yes I'm spending money like there's no tommorrow..

But am I happy?? Hmmm.. Happiness is so hard to define.. I'm contented. But happy??

I just realised my relationship was WAY over before it was actually over..All those times I doubted myself, him and the relationship.. The first time he cheated on me in our first year.. The first time he called me fat..The first time he banged my head against the car door.. The first time I discovered he was smsing other girls.. The first time I caught him in a lie.. The countless other times I caught him lying..

But stupid Sumi believed that she could still carry on.. Not anymore.. I am so much stronger that you think Mr Toad..I had enough of you stepping on me and breaking my spirit. You brought me to my lowest point but keep watching this space..Coz I'm gonna fly so high you'll be biting your own head off in regret.

Okieee..Rant over..Back to my journals..Bleh..