Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I love long bus rides..Seriously I do..I try to take buses everywhere..I hate the MRT..I love sitting next to the window,listening to my MP3 player and daydreaming the ride away..

So therefore I declare myself the expert on acceptable behaviour whilst travelling on public transportation. The following are NOT acceptable.

1) Blasting one's MP3 or phone ring tones.. Seriously dudes. I REALLY do not wanna know that the Teriyaki Boys is your current favourite ringtone..Nor do I wanna hear your mama playlist on your MP3 with delightful hits such as Goyang Goyang and Kokirikiri. Headphones are your friend. Use them wisely. Else I'll be forced to take your phone or MP3 player and throw it out of the moving bus.

2) Nose picking is disgusting wherever you do it. Especially when you're travelling with fellow humans. Wah liao..I really don't understand the need to dig and dig and dig. *Vomits* As if that isnt bad enough, these mofos then proceed to roll the offending piece of crap and either flick it offendingly close to the person next to them or even worse..They pop it into their mouth!!! *Screams in agony* Urghhh..Has nose crap suddenly become THE source for protein these day?? Is it even protein?? Bleh..I can't think straight with the mental images now.

3) Popping of pimples and squeezing of blackheads should be confined to the comforts of your toilets..Not in front of your fellow commuters. Contrary to popular belief, such acts are not a turn on. In fact I may be so repulsed, I might actually throw up in your lap. You've been warned.

4) Yes I understand the difficulties of young love. But still. Making out in a bus?? Seriously. Why? Singapore has soooo many parks and what nots..I do not need a front row ticket to the romantic escapades of Ms Secondary One and Mr Secondary Two. I may very well be forced to point out what you're doing wrong if I start getting antsy.

5) Kicking my seat is always a BIG no-no. Once..I'm cool..Twice I may think you are just getting comfortable..Thrice I may start thinking you have ADD and need constant attention. So don't blame me if I turn around and clunk you with my book.

6) Aunties and uncles of the world..I have yet to uncover the secrets of hitting the seat before placing one's precious butt on it. I see a seat..I make myself comfortable instantly. I take offence when I offer you a seat and you keep hitting it and waving a newspaper over it. I will give you the evil eye.

7) I love kids..I do..But not when they run around screaming at the top of their voices. "Mummmmmmmmyyyyy are we there yet??..Mummy this and mummy that". And I always seem to encounter these brats when I am extremely tired or having a bad headache. Mothers, I know you have the toughest job in the world, but you seriously need to control your kids or I will end up snarling at them which will result in unwanted tears and psychological scarring.

8) Secondary school kids with BO.. Yes I understand you are active kids with hormones and all. But it wouldnt kill you to apply a lil deodorant now and then.Especially after a sweaty basketball game.Or when you know you'll be boarding a crowded bus and might be interacting with the rest of the human species.

Okie..I'm done for now. Anyone else with other bus riding gripes?