Wednesday, January 12, 2005

So there I was minding my own business..walking towards Big Bookshop in Clementi..When this woman hands me this leaflet..So i took it and started to walk off...She jerks me back by the hand!! And ushers me to a seat and says I can have a free trial massage before I can say NOooooooooo.... I REALLY didnt have time nor the patience for all this..But once she touched my foot!!! Sighzzzz....

What a feeling!!! I felt so bloody relaxed... But at the same time I was wondering if I had shaved my legs that morning!! Hahaha...Needless to say I signed up for the full 40 mins massage for like 35 bucks which came with some lymph drainage massage too.. Pretty good deal... I went yesterday and had a bloody good time being pampered... Slept like a baby..

Had a bloody long day today in school.. OSD is pretty interesting considering I hated OE... But the visiting lecturer was pretty pissy today.. Anyone who entered the class after 9.30.. She was like.. "Hi..I'm Margaret..You're late.. Take your notes and sit in the 1st row".. Complete with silence at first and then a steely stare.. Thank god I came on time..I would have been super embarrased if I had to go through that.. Every time the lecture door creaked open, I would cringe in anticipation of her tirade..

Today is Joanna's birthday!! So a huge grp of us went to NYDC in Holland to celebrate.. Again we were the bloody noisiest..But so much fun and laughter.. I can't believe how close I've let myself become with these guys.. It's so funny.. But I really feel super comfortable with this bunch and we have so much fun all the time.. Except when it comes to projects.. Sighz..

Gonna have a long day tommorrow as well.. Lectures in the afternoon till 10pm..Shit.. I really hate myself.. I can't help but feel inadequate.. On the outside,I'm a superconfident go getter..But deep down, I'm super insecure..low self esteemed..and bloody self critical... *Gasp* Yes..I don't like who I am..physically and mentally.. I make fun of myself and laugh at myself before anyone else can.. That helps me coz I die a lil death everytime someone makes fun of me..of how I look. I laugh it off most of the time..But when I start thinking about it, I just feel like disappearing.. I break down all the time..Inside... I start questioning my bf..'why the fuck are you with ME and why the fuck do you want to be with ME??'.. I get pissy at everyone.. I am a paranoid bitch..

Later..

P.S: I cant believe I just bared my soul..just a lil bit...But still.. This has been with me and prob will always be, for my whole life... You think ya know, but ya really don't..

Music The Diva Is Grooving To: Killin' Me Softly by The Fugees

Book The Diva Is Reading: The Not-So-Perfect Man

Diva Tip Of The Day:

For a night out, you definately wanna shine and stand out right?? For wonderful night shine lips.. After applying your fav lip shade and gloss.. Smear a dab of shiny/glittery lip gloss to the middle of your lips only... Trust me..You'll have delish looking lips all night..