Sunday, June 13, 2004

Okayy..Let's just state for a fact that men have it WAY easier than women to look good when leaving the house..Well,one must have decent features first of course! But still,it takes the guys way shorter to dress up..

1) Shower
2) Don underwear
3) Dance around whilst mimicing a song (optional)
4) Choose pants and shirt that match (or not if you're a fashion don't)
5) Apply liberal amounts of gel (or not if you like the Hugh Grant floppy look)
6) Squirt cologne (or bathe in cologne for some nasally disabled folks)
7) Wear shoes and leave the house..

Now, let us compare with the women's list..

1) Before said important even/Sat night out, Go for threading of eyebrows and upper lip(optional..Removal of other unwanted body hair can also be done at this time..
2) Spend half the day choosing perfect outfit
3) Choose from variety of bath scents, shampoos and conditioners..
4) Shampoo hair
5) Apply conditioner and wait (Sometimes treatment products are used and take longer)
6) Spend min 1/2 hr lathering in luxurious bath scents.
7) Use cleanser
8) Use feminine hygiene products(optional for those who really care and yes we do have such products!)
9) After showering,spend 1/2 min to apply lotion and powder
10) Decide that outfir is all wrong and spend 15 mins in frenzy changing outfit, only to settle on original(Hands up those who have done that!)
11) Start applying makeup so that it looks so natural no one will know there's a ton of concealer,foundation,eyeshadow,eyeliner,masacara,blusher,lip liner,lipstick,lipgloss under that rosy fresh faced look..
12) Style hair so that it looks like a Pantene advertisement..(It's not as easy as it looks)
13) Spritz perfume from vast range
14) Stare into mirror to check if lipstick's on teeth,eyeliner's crooked,lipstick too bleh etc
15) Decide on what shoes to wear and discovber that toenails are not painted or in the wrong colour!
16) Perform super fast pedicure..
17) Wear shoes.
18) Jam pack our teeny bags with essentials(Lipstick,powder,tampon,purse,keys etc)
19) After final check,leave the house..

Phewwwwww...Now some girls may take less steps and some may take more..But the point is,we go through so much to look good..And guys will either say one of 3 things when we finally meet them..(Variations are accepted)

1) Wah liaooooo...Why sooooooo long...I've been waitinnnnnnnggg leh..Whine whine..
2) (Ignores girl's effort at looking good) Eh today we go Bugis and eat k? Come la..why you stare stare??
3) Eh..You look tired..After work ah??

Reaction from girl: Silence combined with dirty looks..

Shakes head..Tsk Tsk..

Men REALLY don't get it..

More on the pains we go through in coming posts..